So I have been slacking big time in the blogging department. Mainly because I haven’t really been moved to blog. I’ve dragged my feet and I feel like the queen of leaving things unfinished. Like the challenge I started but never actually blogged about lol. But what I have discovered is, the more I stay on top of things especially things I don’t want to do, the more I can adjust myself to push for what I want. Plus I have to stop writing articles that I never finish. I have so many drafts its ridiculous, so starting today all of those drafts are gone and if I do have any drafts after today. The posts will be finished that same day or the next day if I don’t have time.
Where Am I Now In Life?
Right now, I am trying to get in touch with my spirituality. I’d really like to change my attitude and the way that I think because I can be very negative when I want to. I’ve read books about the Bible, listening to audio tapes, watching Christian channels and I’m working on trying to find some Christian friends that I feel comfortable talking with. I mean not people who are just Christian or that read the Bible only. I’m talking about people who read the Bible and live it.
I’ve purchased some books like Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, some of Joel Osteen audio tapes..which I really love and this book about how single Christian women live or women who are not in a committed relationship. I may talk about it more later I don’t want to make this whole post about it but I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve read. Like the people you surround yourself with do affect you spiritually and you can’t have selective hearing when it comes to God, you have to be willing to hear it all. Even the things you don’t want to hear.
Regarding my health, I found out that the pain in my ovaries was a large amount of polycystic ovary syndrome. I have an cyst on one of my ovaries that is a inch wide, then the other ovary is just covered in cysts. So that’s what was wrong. I am going to have to have surgery on it. I haven’t even prayed about it because its literally been the last thing on my mind but I will now. I also found out that I have social anxiety which explains a lot but I am trying to learn how to maintain it on my own because the pills my doctor prescribed me just doesn’t work. Breathing really helps so when I feel anxious I try slow breathing in and out like I learned in yoga. It really helps me to relax.
As for my weight loss I am still around the same size. Some days I’m 210 lbs other days I’m under that but I always stay in between 200 lbs – 210 lbs. Going to the doctor is discouraging because they can never get your weight right for the simple fact that you’re wearing your clothes, shoes and sometimes a jacket. Ugh I hate it and it makes me feel uncomfortable but that’s just life.
My eating habits are pretty bad I can’t even front. I mean they’re not as bad as they use to be I don’t eat and drink passively like I use to. Like there use to be days in the past where I would drink 5 to 8 cans of soda a day. Now I mostly drink water and if there is no water then I will result in drinking some juice which my kidney really does not like. I’m a lot more aware now of how my body reacts to junk versus eating healthy. I have been eating a lot of chips and fruit gushers since they’re in the house. I could definitely do better in the eating department.
The challenge I did earlier last year, “No soda, no juice, no candy” challenge. I actually did great. I managed to avoid all of those things but I was so caught up in work, commitment to friends and life I never really got a chance to blog.
Which brings up another topic for me, WORK. I quit my job. Yes, I know there was a past post I wrote where I really wanted a job but the one I was working at was just..poor conditions and unprofessional. Everyday I’d go into work feeling uncomfortable because the women there were so cold, rude and they stole so I had to carry my purse everywhere I went. I’d just keep telling myself “It’s for the money, it’s for the money”. But after a while money is only going to push me so far. Plus it was a job where you could never progress, you can and wont get anywhere working the job I was working so with that. I quit and I’m sad about it because I really wanted a job and money but at the end of the day I still have somewhere to sleep and eat so its not going to stop me from doing anything except having extra money in my wallet.
MY HAIR JOURNEY!! My hair, my hair, my hair…man I’ve been doing NOTHING to my hair lol. I put my hair in some long senegalese twist November and probably only moisturized my hair TWICE. Yes, you read write lol. The girl who always scream moisturize in many of her hair posts. I’m telling you I just have not been feeling like doing anything these past few months. I can’t take not being able to see my hair and the progress or being able to give it the treatments I want to. So I am taking the senegalese twist out today. The front part of my hair feels pretty week so after I’m done I’m going to detangle it and give it a protein treatment. Then, the next day I will deep condition my hair. Afterward I plan on moisturizing it unconditionally for the next week then I’m going to texlax my new growth. OH and I will try to take photos of my growth progress because my hair I think has grown a lot since I last took pics…well not a lot but you can probably see the difference. I am excited about that.
I’ve been staying at home a lot but I have been around my other family members more than often which is nice because its just nice to get out and talk to other people.
So that’s where I am now. My next post will be about where I am going and what plans I have in mind.